Thoughts on Lack of Empathy

Empathy. It feels like we're really missing it these days. In politics, in society, in civil discourse, and just in the world in general. We're so caught up trying to be "right," or dividing ourselves into "us vs. them," that we rarely see the nuance in things. The grey that's filled in-between the black and white of all issues. I say all of this because this lack of empathy hit me like a punch to the gut last week. And nothing feels worse when you're made to feel less than just because people don't want to walk in your shoes. Or that, even when you say that you're struggling, people still lay unreasonable expectations upon you.

And to be honest, I flounder in these situations normally. Ten years ago I would have been in an absolute panic, contacting everyone I knew and venting and rambling at them as a way of trying to obtain some kind of comfort, or earning some kind of justification. Luckily time and experience have granted me a more mature perspective, and I've been trying to maintain a positive outlook while telling myself that change is usually for the best (though I do thank the several people I did talk to for being an understanding ear for me when I needed them). Which, which my history of anxiety, hasn't been perfect. There have been times where I've felt literally dizzy and confused the past few days, and other moments where I've needed to go in a room and deep breathe. But I keep telling myself that these handful of days will, in the long run, be better than what I've been feeling for the past 3-4 months.

The past week has also confirmed a personal belief of my: a degree of separation in most things in life is key. What I mean is, unless something is wholly your thing, your baby, it's important to keep a healthy distance between you and your work, personal or otherwise. Because if it suddenly ends, then you lose a good chunk of your identity with it. And let's face it, even if you start a passion project or something that is 100% your own, putting so much time in it that it becomes all-consuming, while not enjoying life around you, can also be unhealthy, even more so. All that to say, I definitely wasn't treating myself as healthy as I could have been. And in that sense, the short term anxieties I'm feeling now will be worth it in the end. And honestly, looking back on it all, there’s only one thing, even when pondering everything that’s happened the past few months, that I truly regret. But maybe I’ll be able to write about that another day.